Romanticizing Co-Sleeping . . .

A Grain of Salt | ElbyJames
4 min readApr 15, 2020

Co-sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Romanticizing Co-Sleeping . . . Co-sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Photo by Vera Kratochvil

When we are born, we must go through an adaptation process until we can start to sleep soundly. It’s virtually impossible a baby will sleep the whole night through; what usually happens is, there are frequent wakening's accompanied with crying. These frequent wakening's can and are usually because of hunger.

Babies also wake up during the night primarily because their brain waves shift and change cycles. When a baby moves from REM (rapid eye movement) sleep to other stages of non-REM sleep, this disturbs their sleep. The different wave patterns our brains make during certain periods define these sleep cycles or “stages” of sleep.

There’s no questioning teething is a main cause which wakes children at night and disrupts their sleep.

I don’t know how common it is for parents to let their children sleep in the same bad as they do, also known as co-sleeping. It isn’t just my daughter sleeping in the same bed with me — the father — but my daughter sleeps in the same bed as her mother.

I know this sounds confusing, but let me explain. Me and my wife work opposing shifts: she works nights and I work days. When my wife decided to return to work, our daughter slept in her crib but she cried a lot and wouldn’t sleep. Using Facetime worked for awhile, but we couldn’t depend on it every night. So one night I decided to place my daughter in the bed with me and her crying ceased.

Essentially, the whole issue of co-sleeping really shouldn’t be an issue at all. Sharing the family bed or letting your toddler cry it out at night is a personal decision. It has to be made by going with what works for you, your family, and your child. The ramifications of either choice aren’t long lasting and won’t cause any permanent psychological damage to a normal, healthy child.

Currently, a trend called “Natural Attachment” has been developed which encourages children to sleep in the same bed as the parents until the day they decide to leave. The argument is, they will suffer less as a result and of course it’s generated much controversy.

There are parents who defend it tooth and nail, claiming it will have a beneficial impact on the child’s self-esteem and confidence. There are…

A Grain of Salt | ElbyJames

ElbyJames is an American disabled combat vet exiled in the UK & a free speech absolutist. He’s an occasional Top Writer